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Now that the season of love is officially here, I thought to myself, “What better way to celebrate the upcoming festivities of the day than to ask my friends for gift ideas for their exes?” Don’t get me wrong, I love them Valentine’s Day idea, but I’m absolutely more of a Galentine’s Day girl — I support these badass gals in my life and appropriately acknowledge their crushes on the issues and issues they have with their exes with a fat bowl of guac and fries and frozen strawberry margins .
Instead of fancy chocolates imported straight from Belgium and cute stuffed animals built right at Build-A-Bear — you know, the ones with squeezable paw pads that you record in your own voice and jarring things like, “I love you? “ can say? Yes-Please enjoy this carefully curated list of some content-safe V-Day gifts that my friends would say they would give to their ex-boyfriends (that for some reason they still see sometimes, or that they would rather never see again). Because what better way to embrace the future than to dwell in the past – as my therapist would do probably not to say?
Author’s note: These suggestions are from my friends based on their individual experiences. They had a certain comedic relief as they passed me these gift ideas ahead of this love stricken day. Some situations ended worse than others, and the most popular answer was “therapy.” But I believe therapy is good for everyone and I want more people to feel safe about going into it, so I picked these other fun and potentially useful ideas for my friends’ exes instead.
My friend said she would buy her ex a jigsaw puzzle because “maybe he’ll solve his other problems along the way”. Depending on how she left the relationship and how petty she wants to be, here are a few options: This total gag gift puzzle (to describe her feelings towards him), this state postcard puzzle (If they literally touched on) or this “Find the Queen Bee” Puzzle (let’s see if he still can’t spot a queen literally right in front of him).
“Faceted Amethyst, Rose Quartz, Fluorite, Clear Quartz, Quartz Clusters Close Up”
You may or may not know how much energy your ex needs right now depending on how long it’s been since you broke up, which is why I think so mysterious box from Star Etsy seller The Spirit Nectar is perfect. You can also send good vibes and protective energy to your ex and yourself by gifting them a healing bracelet like this one highly valued jasper stone for calming, inner peace and balance.
I like to think of my boyfriend’s suggestion for a “self-help book” as “self-care,” so help your ex with some life-enriching reading (now that you’re gone). This Self Improvement Book is a modern classic, and This one here is a clue (mainly with a view to a specific group of ex-boyfriends — aka straight cis men).
“So they can learn to tell the time,” as my only friend advised. This Nixon option is literally in the name: the “Time Teller”. Can you get passive-aggressive more direct?
If they want to act like a kid, they can use it to drink like one Grenadine syrup. No offense to Shirley Temple drinkers as they are delicious indeed. It’s exactly how I remember being cool enough to order something as a kid, imagining I was 30, flirtatious and thriving, when I’m actually sitting in a cozy booth at Red Robin with my parents.
More specifically, according to my friend, “a record that I associate them with,” or maybe just one that can offer a little slap in the side to their attempt at being friends (or whatever they call it). , a little hehe-haha after finishing things. A solid choice with good taste is this Fleetwood Mac classic in vinyl fashion— and when they’re not swinging that delicious record, I understand why the relationship didn’t work out. Please continue to go your own way.
My only friend is a total cinephile, so of course she said she was going to buy her ex a movie pass. That makes sense too, especially now that your ex doesn’t have as much entertainment in their life. She is a real star. And I watched this low-budget movie in front of my eyes, so I can safely say it’s just a guy without the -e. Nevertheless, Please.
“For looking so good, just as a reminder.” I would recommend this if my girlfriend and her ex are on good terms now and if they’re both still single – to avoid making a new partner feel uncomfortable. It’s a good and sassy gag gift idea, say, if you’re going to a Christmas party and you know you and your ex want to give each other something. Go ahead and break the ice (again). basic option.
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